hello there. this is a test
Great question. Much like the Lincoln/Kennedy List of Coincidences, also known as the Lincoln Kennedy Connection that hits your email inbox 2, 3, 4, 5 times a year, the Biden/Palin List of Coincidences is a shocking look at the similarities between the two vice presidential candidates. After running across a few of these by chance, I decided to delve further into the two candidates’ lives. The following is the list that I produced. No names have been changed to protect the guilty.
V 
- In Biden’s and Palin’s names the vowels & consonants fall in exactly the same place, in the order of c, v, c, v, c.
- Joe Biden was named after his father, Joe Sr.
- Sarah Palin was named after her mother, Sarah [Sr.]
- Both presumptive VPs’ names are often mispronounced as the softer sound of their names as in “forBIDDEN” or “PALINdrome” where as it should be pronounced as “BYE-den” and “PAY- len.”
- Biden and Palin were both handpicked as running mates in a conscious effort to increase votes among Baby Boomers, and women, respectively.
- Biden, a supposed pro-choicer, voted against abortion in 1982.
- Palin, a supposed pro-lifer, went and had an abortion in 1982.
- Biden was married at the ripe age of 24 and had a son 123 weeks later.
- Palin was married/eloped at the age of 24 and had her son 29 weeks later… hmm…
- Biden’s first born son was deployed to Iraq in September 2008, contrary to his father’s party’s wishes.
- Palin’s first born son was deployed to Iraq in September 2008, right in line with his mother’s party’s history of failed wishes.
- Biden had a secretary named Ford that drove a Mercury.
- Palin hunted a Caribou named Mercury that was shot from her Ford F-150.
- Biden was elected to Congress in 1973.
- Palin was… well, never elected to Congress or any other national office for that matter.
- Biden has 4 decades of experience.
- Palin has 4 days of experience.
- Both presumptive VPs have two eyes, two ears, and ten toes.
- Both VP candidates are critically important in this election. Never before has the heartbeat of a President been under so much discussion. On one hand you have the threat of a debilitating health condition coupled with old age and on the other hand, you have the threat of assassination because of the color of someone’s skin.
Posted in Conspiracy, News, Politics | Tagged Obama, McCain, Sarah Palin, Joe Biden, Election 2008, Sarah Palin Conspiracy, Joe Biden Conspiracy, What is the Biden/Palin List of Coincidences?, Who is the best Vice Presidential pick?, The coincidence of Osama Bin Laden and Obama/Biden, Biden/Palin Connection, Palin scandal, Palin controversy, Palin is guilty, Lincoln/Kennedy Connection, Lincoln and Kennedy List of Coincidences, email, junk email, Biden Palin debate | 1 Comment »
Awesome question. Because this answer is so complicated we’ve decided to make it into a 5 series webality show.
Meet The Contestants
(Left to Right and Top to Bottom)
Bruno Tonioli on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars, Shane Sparks on MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew, Paula Abdul on Fox’s American Idol, Simon Cowell on Fox’s American Idol, Tyra Banks on The CW’s America’s Next Top Model
The judges will compete right here on Matteroffaq.com in a 5-week, elimination style competition. The winner will receive a fat check of notoriety from the Matter of F. A. Q. sponsors and crew. This notoriety will hopefully pay off in the form of higher ratings. Speaking of ratings…
WEEK #1’s OBJECTIVE
RATINGS
This week’s objective is to weed out the contestant with the lowest ratings. Unfortunately, we don’t have access to Nielsen or his ratings so we’ll use Google, everybody’s friend. The contestant with the fewest Google search results probably has the lowest viewer ratings and thus the weekest link for this week’s competition. And since ratings are worth so much in TV dollar$, the winner of this challenge is wholly exempt all the way until the final round. Drum Roll…
297,0002,820,000
5,000,000
75,000 7, 630, 000
That…. leaves…. us…. with…. no…. other….. option…. but…… to…. eliminate………. BRUNO, from America’s Best Reality Show Judge sponsored by Matteroffaq.com and 7Up.
That means that Tyra Banks continues all the way through to the end of this competition untouched until the final round.
NEXT WEEKS OBJECTIVE: Constructive Criticism
Who will go home? Who will remain?
Place your bet in the form of a comment
Stay Tuned
Posted in News, Television, Uncategorized | Tagged ABC, America Best Dance Crew, America's Next Top Model, American Idol, BrunoTonioli, competition, CW, Dancing With The Stars, Fox, judges, NBC, Paula Abdul, Reality show, Shane Sparks, Simon Cowell, Tyra Banks, Who is America's Best Reality Judge | 2 Comments »
Wonderful question. This question cannot be answered across the board. It all depends on the color of your state on the political map below. If you’re in a blue state, then yes, your Prius will come with an Obama sticker before you even roll your tires off the lot. You’ll soon join the sea of Priuses all willing to champion the green cause. If you’re in a red state, an Obama sticker is more like adding on leather seats, or adding speakers in the door; it comes at an added cost including but not limited to the ridicule of your peers. As for gray states, there wasn’t a large enough representation for it to even matter. The lovely people of Missouri are still learning the concept of a swing state, and how it’s completely unrelated to their ability to dance.
Other Questions Answered In This Posting
I just bought a Toyota Prius and I’m wondering what’s the easiest way to peel off this wretched Obama sticker on the back. Asked by Kenneth Lott, in Fresno, California.
I was walking home from Whole Foods in my Birkenstock shoes when I realized that I should buy a car. So I bought a Prius. To my surprise, there wasn’t an Obama sticker attached. What’s up with that? Asked by Cindy Lone, in Austin, Texas.
Posted in Campaign, Geography, Government, History, News, Politics, Procedure | Tagged Bumper stickers, Does an Obama sticker come with every Toyota Prius, Environmental issues, Green, Hybrids, McCain on the environment, Obama 08, Obama bumper sticker, Obama on the environment, Toyota Prius | 2 Comments »
Asked by Kelley Caleb Hunt from Matteroffaq.com
Sarah Palin, Presumptive V.P . Tina Fey, Comedian
Interesting question. Usually twins are born seconds or even minutes apart. Occasionally we hear a freakish story of twins born several days or even weeks apart. The latest breaking news, and the Guiness Book’s new record for interval between two twins is the case of twin sisters Tina Fey, the comedian, and Sarah Palin, the presumptive Vice Presidential nominee. The staggered births came at a whopping difference of 6 years, 3 months and 7 days, or 3,297,259 minutes apart. If you attended the “Seasons of Love” School of Math then they were born only 3,293,280 minutes apart, a huge labor pain differnce of 3,979 minutes.
As for Palin’s possible need for a cover up, the Tina Fey Camp has yet to come to a decision. Tina’s publicist did announce, however, that “if Palin isn’t sucessful in November, Fey will be in immediate need of a stunt double for her role in Baby Mama II, and This Side of the Truth” both due for release in 2009.
Posted in Politics | Tagged Are Tina Fey and Sarah Palin twins?, Baby Mama, Baby Mama II, Body Double, Election 08, Fey, McCain, Obama, Palin, Sarah Palin, Secret Service, Separated at birth, Stunt Double, This Side of the Truth, Tina Fey | 2 Comments »
Asked by Kenneth Cole, in San Juan, Puerto Rico
Excellent question. The short answer, and what officers are meant to think, is that the white glove increases visibility. Apparently you wouldn’t see their hands without them. In this picture you see an officer wearing white gloves, but before you even notice the white gloves you make note that there’s a very large man wearing a skirt. This was taken on my last trip to Samoa. Apparently the white gloves are a global standard for traffic control. What’s NOT part of the global standard is that handsome skirt he’s slipped into. In Samoa, that article of clothing is called a lavalava and much like a kilt it’s totally manly.
This picture shows an officer WITHOUT white gloves. Clearly, you shouldn’t be able to see her hands since she left the most vital part of her uniform at home. So apart from increasing visibility, the other purpose of traffic control gloves is to keep officers looking utterly ridiculous. It’s a textbook example of mind control. If they look silly, then they feel silly. If they feel silly, then you own them. Admittedly, the Samoans have taken mind control to the next level.
Posted in Police | Tagged 5-0, behaviod, cops, gloves, lavalava, mind control, Samoa, traffic control | 1 Comment »
Asked by Julian Harris in Atlanta, Georgia
Good question. Georgia, in addition to being the name of a U. S. state, is also the name of a transcontinental country that’s currently under attack, thousands and thousands and thousands of miles away from Atlanta. The Russian President did agree to pull back his troops, but only under one condition: that he be allowed to invade into the night. Apparently he needs one more day to to flex his authority. So even if Russia accidentally points its missiles at Georgia the State instead of Georgia the Country, you have very little worries because it’ll all be over by tomorrow. May the count down begin.
Surprising to note: Georgia is not called Georgia when in Georgia. Georgia is actually called საქართველო or Sakartvelo. A name all too complicated for English phoenetics, so we say Georgia. When in საქართველო , do as the საქართველოans do.
საქართველო On My Mind
Still want to know where Georgia is?
Why, it’s north of Armenia.
Posted in News | Tagged Armenia, Attack, Current Events, Georgia, Invasion, Mikhail Saakashvili, Ossetia, Russia | No Comments »
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